For Havanera - The Lonely Wade

It is ubiquitous,
It recedes and grows,
Wanes and flows,
The harder I fight,
The less I can surrender.

Attempting to stone the devil,
His name Baler,
Send him alone,
Without me,
Back to hell.

My tender soul,
With so much life yet to live,
Fighting for its own survival,
Desperately lonely,
As I wade through this lonely time.

No longer stoned,
No longer running away,
Instead now running en route to,
A life less pained,
Throwing a brick,
Through the window to I,
Shattered.

Anonymous voices,
That I dare not listen to,
Throw me in every direction,
Longing for sanity to return,
As I have begun,
Loving all parts of I.

Feeling like worn leather,
Transfixed by the unusual process,
That will turn these purple bruises,
To words of love and joy,
Revealing suffering and my egos avarice,
Though I know, now, I have no choice,
Survival the name of the game.

Weird the course I am on,
As I bleach all negativity,
Cleaning myself of my steadfast upset,
As I return that to myself,
Which I have always desired.

Wondering in my painful isolation,
Fuck,
When will this end.

SDM