Wordplay 3 March 29

Caught in an incessant landslide of emotional revolt,
My intellect grapples with the impossible,
For what sanity is there to be found in a crippled state of delusion,.
The presumptuous clinging to a life that is no longer possible,
For change is going to come.

Longing to find something relevant,
In that which defies understanding and logic,
Rocking back and forth in my mind,
As space and time envelop me,
In a blanket no longer comfortable,
So I reach for galaxies untold,
In hope that maybe there…

The instinctive resonance of my fingers gliding,
Across a once empty page,
Reaction more than action,
As I close in on that one thing, that one moment,
And then…
Its gone.

As if fighting a champions brawl,
I am left to consider the sucker punch thrown,
In the bloodbath of my souls desires,
Clear and uncertain,
Definite and unkind.

Did I miss the cue?
Somehow in my confused state,
Did I zig instead of zag,
And so I cry out:
Which way am I to go?
Can anyone tell me?
I NEED TO KNOW!

Perhaps these words are easier,
Now that my emotions run free,
Or because I do not need to open my mouth,
Changing a read to some verbal onslaught,
Of a tortured soul,
That laments the days when all seemed so certain,
And all at once it was not… for I still sit here,
Troubled.

As Beethoven’s 7th,
Runs through every vein in my body,
My blood flowing with the anger,
That delicate and beautiful anger,
The soft misery of my immortal beloved,
The words that I so long to find relevant,
To reveal,
An answer that is not there,
That which amounted to my own sense,
Of an intrinsic value,
It is not there…

That opinion of self,
So ravaged and pulled apart by this wretched spree,
Torn and tattered at the crossroads of life,
No destination,
Just a journey,
No book ends,
Just… questions, and then more,
Ever elusive as I write,
Awaiting the perfect bargain,
Without a bang,
Denouement,
The writers salvation.

SDM