Wordplay 1 March 27

In a wild twist of fate, I have returned,
To that which for reasons unknown I had abandoned,
In a search for self,
That rattles me to the core of my identity;
Who am I?

Free to explore the depths of myself,
I refuse to allow the niggardly understanding of me,
To hold me back in this moment of need,
Coming to a point that beckons, requires,
Indeed propels me forward in these words I write.

Perhaps to some it would seem the folly of a narcissist,
Filled with speculations and conjectures,
That don’t ring true,
But I’ve come to realize that when all is stripped away,
All that is left,
Is the shell of me,
A vessel,
Which I determine how to fill,
And become one with myself again.

My voice once distinct,
Seems to elude me at present,
Though I will continue,
Five words at a time,
Striving to find within,
This stream of consciousness,
That voice distinctive,
Which served me so well for all my years.

On beautiful wings,
Lady Serendipity,
Hovers near me,
As I press on,
Toward a life I know I am meant to live,
But struggle to figure out exactly how,
For now,
One word, one phrase, one stanza,
At a time.