October 29th, 2004 - Also Appropriate

My father said in a drunken rage a while back that he hated me. A statement that stung then and stings now. My father has not been an easy man to love, but I still do and always will. He is my father. HOWEVER, there are moments in life where we have to consider things we didn’t ever want to.

I have not been the perfect son but I’ve always tried to be there for him. Yesterday he sent me a third email, on a non-related matter and apologized again for his actions.

Fine.

HOWEVER, through his own actions he has caused my Mother, Brothers and Sisters and myself untold and unspoken pain.

He is a man (as am I) and must be accountable for his actions and to date I have not seen that. This causes no small measure of pain for me.

I’ve ALWAYS believed in him, even when others have not.

I have ALWAYS supported him, even when others have not.

It’s sad, confusing, heartbreaking and difficult.

SDM

October 19th, 2004 - Appropriate Today!

Children,

I wrote you yesterday as well - I guess I have a lot to say to you. As always I love you and you should know I always will. I love you Char! Most people would think it's foolish to write to you like this, but hey, they're not me.

Your Mom and I got into a tizzy last night,
Partially because of her extreme fatigue and partially because of me.

When your Mom and I first met I was not the man I am today.
Because of her strength, sacrifice, conviction and determination,
I have become a better man.

She has taught me the meaning of responsibility in life,
And relationship,
And here’s a shocker, something I haven't been,
the most responsible.

Last week your Mom and I got into a car accident in Delia.
Delia is your Mom's 1989 Red Cabriolet Convertible.

Fortunately no one but Delia was hurt.
Well, maybe a little of my pride,
but mainly Delia.

Currently, as for the past few years,
your Mom is a working actress;

HARD WORKING!

She often wakes up before the sunrise and goes to a job she loves.

Although you all know I'm a writer, today I am a floorwalker.
I hate it but responsibility says I, like your Mom,
have to work.

SO I DO!

I've been thinking about you a lot in recent days.
Trying to figure out how to best make sure,
that you all live up to your,
RESPONSIBILITIES.

Your Mom always has and always will.

I just wanted to let you know...

I love you all.

I love you Char.

Always,

(SDM) Dad
______________

Context, there is lots going on and lots of stress right now. I went to one of my old books to start inputting into the computer and this was the first one I saw.

SDM

A New Day

Hello All,

I have hidden behind fear for a long time. Well no more. I will post here some of the things that I have written and hope that you enjoy.

Here is the first;

Someday,
Many years from today,
You my children, however many you are,
Your eyes will fall on these words,
Written at an inspired moment because of a strong woman you all know well;
In my dreams she came to me,
Escorted by an angelic choir,
Her eyes taking hold of my soul,
Embracing it with a youthful touch,
I’d never known before,
Her amazing intelligence in the most glorious way,
An ever present thirst,
An overwhelming hunger to learn everyday,
Her magnificent soul,
Accepting her calling to touch in a good way all that she encounters,
Her spirit,
Flighty and innocent, free from the same constraints as most,
Her identity,
Strong, independent and elegant,
The very definition of grace;
Her compassion,
Unending and powerful,
Think of your mothers hug;
The warmth, the positivity, the love, joy and energy,
She has given all this to me with her touch,
Her support is unyielding and her impact on our lives can never be understated.
Appreciate her, no only as your mother,
But as the awe inspiring, positive powerful woman that she is;
I love her today;
I will love her more tomorrow and ever more,
With out her none of this would be possible,
Nor you,
Her significance to our lives is paramount,
So ensure that everyday, as I have,
You thank her.

I love you all

SDM