October 29th, 2004 - Also Appropriate

My father said in a drunken rage a while back that he hated me. A statement that stung then and stings now. My father has not been an easy man to love, but I still do and always will. He is my father. HOWEVER, there are moments in life where we have to consider things we didn’t ever want to.

I have not been the perfect son but I’ve always tried to be there for him. Yesterday he sent me a third email, on a non-related matter and apologized again for his actions.

Fine.

HOWEVER, through his own actions he has caused my Mother, Brothers and Sisters and myself untold and unspoken pain.

He is a man (as am I) and must be accountable for his actions and to date I have not seen that. This causes no small measure of pain for me.

I’ve ALWAYS believed in him, even when others have not.

I have ALWAYS supported him, even when others have not.

It’s sad, confusing, heartbreaking and difficult.

SDM